Life can be exciting, adventurous, and sometimes full of joy, but this is never a constant. Imagine having a friend or loved one you care about deeply having difficulties coping with the stressors of life, unable to live to their full potential because of mental health challenges standing in their way.
Imagine someone who has experienced trauma dealing with sudden flashbacks, panic attacks, insomnia, suicidal tendencies, and self-harm. This can be a lot to deal with for anyone whether a caregiver, family or friend as it can also have a long-term impact on your mental wellbeing too.
Despite the challenges they maybe facing at the time, and how they impact you. One has to ask themselves the most important question, how can I continue to love, care, and show compassion to those facing mental health challenges even when things get tough? Right there, that’s one of the toughest decisions anyone can make. To stay committed and compassionate in the hardest of times.
Today, we are going to share a few tips to guide and help you navigate the complexities that come with mental health challenges and how best to support and love those experiencing them.
Loving and supporting those with mental health challenges
1. Be compassionate
Whether it is you or the other person having the challenges, its important to always be compassionate. Try and put yourself in their shoes, and ask yourself the question of what would I want or do for someone if I was the one facing a mental health challenge?
Being compassionate means having a deep awareness of another person's suffering, pain, or challenges, coupled with a genuine desire to alleviate that suffering or support them through it. Compassion goes beyond empathy or feeling what others feel and requires taking steps to help, comfort, or care for someone in need.
Be sincere with yourself, as you will never be able understand everything the other person is going through and the best you can do is extend a warm hand of friendship, care, and understanding to their situation. It should be something freely done out of the goodness of your heart and not because you’re forced or expected to. The best examples of compassion in action include:
+ Listening to a friend who is going through a tough time without interrupting or judging.
+ Offering help to someone who is struggling, such as cooking a meal for a sick neighbour or donating to someone in need.
+ Volunteering your time or resources to support a cause that helps others.
+ Forgiving someone who has hurt you and trying to understand their perspective.
+ Being patient and supportive with someone who is learning or growing, even if they make mistakes.
Is it too much to ask? I know. As human beings, we are often very selfish at times and only care about our needs and not those of others. So, being compassionate is more than just doing a few things here and there and checking the boxes. It involves your time, heart, and dedication.
Why does compassion matter?
Compassion matters a lot not only for those who are having mental challenges, but even you too and here’s why:
+ For others: Compassion can provide comfort, hope, and a sense of connection to those who are suffering. It helps people feel seen, valued, and supported.
+ For yourself: Practicing compassion can improve your own mental and emotional well-being, fostering a sense of purpose and fulfillment.
+ For society: Compassion builds stronger, more connected communities by promoting understanding, cooperation, and kindness.
How to Cultivate Compassion
· Practice active listening: Pay attention to others without interrupting or judging. Don’t act or be someone who thinks they know it all and only wants to offer solutions. Not everything requires a solution.
· Be mindful: Notice when others are struggling and consider how you can help, and don’t be a poser about it by announcing how you helped someone or keep a list of things you have done for them.
· Practice self-compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you offer to others. This is important, because if you’re not compassionate to yourself, how can you be for others?
· Volunteer or give back: Engage in acts of service to help those in need. That can be at church, an orphan shelter or even helping in keeping your community clean. There are so many ways to be of service to others.
· Educate yourself and keep learning: Learn about the experiences and challenges of others to better understand their perspectives. For example, you can read a book about trauma or do some research on depression to better understand the issue and equip yourself with knowledge needed to help others.
2. Kindness and humility go a long way
Being kind to others and staying humble at all times does not cost you anything. Most times all a person needs from you is kindness and a bit of effort to try and understand their situation. Kindness is something our world desperately needs given the increase in fear and anxiety.
When we read Ephesians 4:32, it
says: Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in
Christ forgave you. Kindness offers healing and most importantly, learning to
forgive ourselves and others is greatest gift we can give to ourselves knowing
that God loves us deeply despite our imperfections.
Much as kindness is a great way to support and love those experiencing mental challenges. Humility can not be overlooked. What is humility you ask? Well, it is defined or characterized by a modest and unassuming attitude toward oneself. It involves recognizing your strengths and accomplishments without arrogance, while also being aware of your limitations and imperfections.
Humility is not about thinking less of yourself but about thinking of yourself less focusing on others and the bigger picture rather than seeking attention or validation for yourself. So, how can you be of great help or love someone struggling with something when all you do is think about yourself all the time, inflating your ego or seeking validation for your actions in everything. It takes courage to acknowledge this, and even more courage to take a step towards change.
Examples of humility include:
· Acknowledging a mistake and apologizing sincerely.
· Giving credit to others for their contributions.
· Listening to someone else’s
perspective, even if you disagree.
· Accepting praise graciously
without feeling the need to downplay or exaggerate your role.
· Volunteering for a cause without seeking recognition or reward.
Remember, we all need someone who can be there for us even in the hard times, and all it takes is kindness and humility. Be the person who changes the lives of others and the world.
3. Patience is key
Remember all those times you kept annoying your parents when you were a little child, and how often you repeated the same mistakes only to be forgiven and treated gently without harsh punishment? That can be treated as good example of our parents being patient with us, knowing that we will change and do right with time even when it was sometimes frustrating.
Well, there is it. Patience is so valuable
when trying to show support and love for those experiencing mental health
challenges. Just as your parents, loved ones, friends including your boss were
patient with you during your times of struggle. It is important to extend the
same courtesy to those struggling with mental health challenges.
Patience is a critical component when helping someone with mental health challenges because it creates a safe, supportive, and nonjudgmental environment that fosters healing and growth. Mental health struggles often involve complex emotions, behaviors, and thought patterns that take time to understand and address.
Most times, the actions and the things said by someone going through a manic episode or dealing with a bi-polar disorder can be heart breaking. Even so, it hurts more when the affected person becomes physically violent towards you. Its important to remember that this is not them, and even though it may seem they are aware of what’s happening, its vital to put into perspective the drastic impact of trauma and other factors to one’s mind.
Much as their actions impact you and others differently, its key to be patient, understanding, and most importantly kind towards their suffering. Most times its beyond their control and it’s their brain trying to cope and respond to the pain and circumstances they are going through at the time.
Here is how you can practice patience when supporting someone with mental health challenges:
· Educate yourself: Learn about their specific mental health condition to better
understand their experiences and challenges.
· Listen actively: Give them your full attention without interrupting or rushing the conversation.
· Manage your expectations: Accept that progress may be slow and that setbacks are part of the
process.
· Practice self-care: Supporting someone with mental health challenges can be
emotionally taxing. Take care of your own well-being to maintain your patience
and energy.
· Be consistent: Show up consistently, even when it feels like your efforts aren’t
making an immediate difference.
· Celebrate small wins: Acknowledge and celebrate even the smallest steps forward to encourage continued progress.
Patience is a powerful tool in helping
someone with mental health challenges. It communicates care, respect, and
understanding, creating a foundation for healing and growth. By being patient,
you can make a profound difference in their journey toward recovery and
well-being.
4. Offer emotional validation
Acknowledge and validate their feelings, no matter how difficult it may seem. Saying things like, "I can see you're struggling, and that's okay," can provide comfort and reassurance.
5. Encourage seeking professional help
Remind your loved ones that seeking professional support is a sign of strength, not weakness. Therapy, counseling, or even talking to a doctor can help guide them on their path to recovery. Therapists, counselors, or support groups can provide specialized tools to help them navigate their challenges. How to do this:
· Gently suggest therapy or counseling without making them feel pressured.
· Say something like, “I think
talking to a professional could really help you, and I’m here to support you
through that process.”
· Offer to help find resources or even go with them to an appointment if they feel comfortable.
6. Check in regularly
Mental health challenges can sometimes make people feel isolated. Regular check-ins—whether through a text, phone call, or face-to-face chat—let them know they are not alone.
7. Create a safe space
Ensure your environment is one where they feel safe to express themselves. Let them know it's okay to be vulnerable and that you’re there to support them, no matter what. Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can offer is a listening ear.
People struggling with mental health issues or trauma often feel isolated or misunderstood. Create a space where they feel safe to express their feelings without fear of judgment.
9. Promote healthy habits
Encourage small steps towards self-care like taking walks, getting enough sleep, staying hydrated, and practicing relaxation techniques like deep breathing or meditation. How to do this:
· Encourage activities like
journaling, painting, yoga, or nature walks.
· Offer to participate in these
activities together but respect their need for space if they prefer to do them
alone.
· Be mindful of unhealthy coping mechanisms like substance use, and gently express concern if you notice harmful patterns.
10. Support their decisions
If your loved one is hesitant about taking certain steps in their mental health journey, be supportive of their decisions. Encourage them, but don’t push them into something they’re not ready for.
11. Be Mindful of your own well-being
Supporting someone through a mental health challenge can take an emotional toll. Make sure you're also taking care of yourself and seeking support when needed. How to do this:
· Set healthy boundaries when
needed. It’s okay to say, “I want to support you, but I also need some time to
recharge.”
· Seek support from friends,
family, or a counselor for yourself.
· Practice self-care regularly—whether that’s exercise, meditation, or simply taking time for hobbies you enjoy.
12. Keep the conversation open
Mental health should be discussed openly and without stigma. Normalize talking about emotions and mental health struggles so that it becomes easier for the person to seek help when necessary.
13. Celebrate small wins and progress
Healing takes time, and progress can often be slow and subtle. Celebrate the small victories along the way—whether it’s your loved one getting out of bed on a tough day, attending a therapy session, or simply opening up about their feelings. How to do this:
· Acknowledge their efforts with
affirmations like, “I’m proud of you for taking that step,” or “It’s amazing to
see how far you’ve come.”
· Avoid focusing solely on the end goal—appreciate the journey and the resilience they show every day.
14. Do fun things together
Mental health challenges and trauma are just one part of a person’s story—they don’t define who your loved one is. Engaging in fun, light-hearted activities helps remind them (and you) of the joy, hope, and dreams that still exist beyond their struggles. How to do this:
· Plan activities you both
enjoy—whether it’s watching a funny movie, playing games, cooking a new recipe,
or taking a walk in nature.
· Share stories, laugh together,
and talk about dreams and aspirations for the future.
· Celebrate small victories and create new memories that aren’t centered around their challenges.
15. Pray for wisdom
and guidance
Lastly and most importantly is involving and inviting God through prayer. Supporting a loved one through mental health challenges or healing from trauma can feel overwhelming at times. Begin by seeking God’s wisdom and guidance. Prayer not only brings peace to your heart but also invites God’s presence into your loved one’s healing journey. How to do this:
· Pray for discernment to know
how best to support them. Ask God to for patience, compassion, and the right
words to speak.
· Pray for your loved one’s healing, peace, and strength. Trust that God’s love is at work even in the most difficult moments.
· When appropriate, offer to pray with your loved one. A simple prayer like, “God, thank you for giving us strength and peace today,” can be deeply comforting.
What next?
Taking care, supporting or loving someone with mental health challenges can be daunting at times, and requires you to be compassionate, kind and patient even when everything seems to be falling apart. Its important to note that everything takes time, and when feeling overwhelmed, do not feel embarrassed to ask for help.
It’s a journey, and there is no rushing it. Be kind to yourself and those who rely on you and ask God to guide you through the process as love conquers all.
